If you’re wondering how to get an orgasm, you’re not alone. While movies make having orgasms seem so easy, like…oops! I just had one. Oops! There goes another one! But women know better. For most of us, having an orgasm requires concentration, trust, wine, lubrication, a vibrator, luck, some strange positions, weird faces, or any combination thereof. Read on for fifteen ways to climax, complete with tips from sex educator Jenny Block, Ph.D and our readers.

1. Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay

“Foreplay first is important; it takes me longer to orgasm with penis-in-vagina intercourse, so giving me a head start before the real action gets going increases the odds of me orgasming from penetration. And, aside from that, it’s all about the G-spot, and positions that help stimulate it are key.” —Ana, 25

2. Clitoral Stimulation During Penetration

“Either coincidental rubbing against my clit (because of how he moves his body) or that oh-so-sexy feeling of his balls swinging against me works!” —J., 23

3. Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor

Strengthening your pelvic floor can result in better sex all around. “I didn’t have a vaginal orgasm until I started doing ballet barre and Pilates regularly! And then: bam! It happens almost every time! Who knew exercise was good for you in the sack?” —L.B., 34

4. Good Vibrations

“I get off from having an orgasm via clit stimulation first (like from a vibrator) while having penetrative sex, and then continuing penetration in a different position. Works every time!” —Ashley, 27

5. Have an Orgasm Before Sex to Have Another During Sex

“Being really wet and coming before his penis enters my vagina makes me more able to come again.” —Tamar, 32

6. Squeeze the Walls of Your Vagina

“Squeeze the walls of your vagina in and up simultaneously. If you have the benefit of a gym, go try a few reps on the ‘captain’s chair’—the sensation is similar. It may even make you orgasm (yes, even at the gym).” —Kristin, 30

7. Try a Penis Ring

A penis ring adds much-needed clitoral stimulation to intercourse. Considering that only a quarter of women say they consistently orgasm through intercourse, adding a penis ring can be just what you need to climax.

8. Try New Positions

Research has shown that it’s naturally easier for some women to orgasm than others thanks to factors like the distance between your vagina and your clitoris. Sure, you can’t suddenly alter your vaginal-clitoral ratio, but you can try some new moves to increase the odds you’ll have an orgasm the next time you have sex. Find out how to get an orgasm by trying new positions that might work better for your anatomy. “For me, on my back with my legs over his shoulders is like opening the front door to my G-spot. Instant orgasm.” —Sarah, 30

9. Take Control

“It has to be him on top to achieve the angle at which I’m getting consistent clitoral stimulation and controlling that stimulation. I do most of the grinding, and it’s actually better if he holds still. Having a penis in my vagina seems to help, but too much thrusting and I lose my rhythm, so usually I just tell him not to move.” —Cordelia, 30

10. Stay Present

“There is nothing better you can do than to really get your head in the game,” says Block. “Forget about work, the laundry, what you’re going to wear to that party and focus on nothing but the sensations you’re experiencing. And definitely don’t give any thought to how you look. Believe me, you look incredibly sexy to the person you’re with. That’s one of the reasons they’re with you!”

12. Communicate With Your Partner

Heard this one before? Well, that’s because it really is that important, but shockingly few of us speak up. “If your partner is just few inches above or below where you really like to be touched or if things are too fast, too slow, or just not doing it for you, say something! Trust me, your partner in crime wants to make you feel great, so let him or her know what does and doesn’t work for you,” says Block. “If you find it hard to talk about, try saying things like, ‘I love it when you…’ Or, ‘It would really turn me on if you’d…’ or even ‘Can I show you something?'”

13. Move Your Hips

“The human body is designed to move, and motion and vibration really get the female body going,” she says. So move around, be active, and make sure to get your hips into the action, no matter what position you’re in: “Lifting your pelvis to meet your partner’s hands or mouth or a toy you might be enough to up the orgasm ante.”

14. Don’t Compare Your Orgasm Clock with His

Typically, “more time is spent on what works for male partners (penetration) as opposed to what female partners really want and need (clitoral stimulation),” says Block. So, however it is you prefer to get your foreplay, make sure to enjoy it—and not to worry about how long it’s taking. You should never feel rushed; your body needs what it needs.

15. Make Noise

Moaning, talking dirty, whispering, shouting—whatever is your thing, do that, says Block. It’s perfectly OK to get loud. “Sex is a body/mind/spirit practice,” she says. “When you are wholly involved on all fronts, it’s so much easier to have an orgasm.”

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